wandering waistline

From the land of "fatdom"

2010-09-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been updating as frequently because, let's face it, I'm lazy and a slack bastard. I didn't even exercise at all this week. That being said, I've had a number of things going on which have prevented me from sticking to my schedule. BUT (and you know there's always a but) even though I have not exercised, and I even indulged a bit, I managed to lose yet another couple of pounds, which brought my total loss up to 142 pounds. I'm not trying to gloat here. What I'm trying to say, is that once you set your body on the right path, it will do it's thing. My metabolism is finally working properly, so that even if I mess up for a couple of days, there's a grace period, provided I don't push my luck. That means that I can have a treat maybe twice a week, but a piece of that ooey gooey yummy cocoa and cream cake is going to tip the scales if I eat it everyday. Despite the fact that Heather down the road can eat her face off and down a tub of Ben & Jerry's and still hover around 130 pounds, my body cannot handle that kind of treatment and will eventually explode to unmanageable proportions.

I think our bodies are well oiled machines; take care of them and they'll take care of you. Imagine a car that you drive hard, forget to change the oil, neglect to replace break pads, skip the engine flush, don't bother with rust proofing. How much life do you think you will get out of that car, even if one day you decide to fix what is broken? The damage would have been done and the rust will have eaten through the break lines and the frame. Keep your body in tip top shape and it will drive you from point A to point B. Treat it with respect and it will provide you with the same courtesy. Okay, now that I've managed to say that with a straight face, let's move on.

I would like to give you some insight into the aftermath of the storm so to speak. Approximately 3 weeks into maintenance and after following a strict regimen where I am finally "free" (if that is what you wanna call it) from the shackles of fatdom, I can tell you that it feels good to walk down the street and have no one give me the sympathy look. Seriously, it's so good to just blend in. I know people normally want to stand out, but I am so glad to just blend into the background. It's an incredibly comforting thought that I am now not special in that fat way.

What I find difficult and still a struggle is the fact that I have to constantly bridge the gap in my mind between what is healthy and unhealthy. I still have to talk myself into NOT eating an extra muffin, or that chocolate bar that's been hanging out in the cupboard for the last month. I have to coax and massage my mind to let go of the idea that it needs those chocolate chip pretzels also sitting in the cupboard (which happen to be right next to the chocolate bar - I tell ya, those things come with their own posse, and the powers of be are conspiring against me, and what is that stuff doing in my cupboard anyway and who bought it?) Surely, this is not what other "skinny bitches" (because that's what many people call me nowadays; it's become a term of endearment at this point) think about all day. Ah yes, this is what fat people have to put up with, because I am still fat on the inside, and let me just say that I don't say fat with a negative connotation, but if you've been following this blog then you already know that I have no problem with the word fat. I just think it's accurate and also I'm a lazy slack bastard as I mentioned before so I don't have time to type proper politically correct terms that all mean "fat" anyway.

Moving on, because I am still fat on the inside, I still hear whispers from the kitchen. That darn KitKat bar is calling out to me but I have to continuously dampen it's plea for me to come eat it until it's voice becomes background chatter. I have to tune it out like white noise, otherwise I'm just going to eat it and spoil my appetite which will prevent me from eating a good healthy bowl of green beans and roast chicken and then my life will spiral out of control and into a series of very miserable events that will cause me to shoot myself in the face (yes, it's sarcasm, get with the program). Long story short, for now I am behaving and sticking to my plan of remaining healthy. I did it to become healthy and I want to stay healthy, so healthy it shall be. And now you'll have to excuse me because I have a function to go to this evening and there are people attending said function who are depending on me to make cupcakes.

Wandering Waistline over and out --

At Last

2010-08-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3 pounds

Total weight loss: 140 pounds

Finally, I've reached my target weight. The last ten pounds were a bitch to knock off but I have finally done it. Numbers don't often translate very well into images so I posted a picture of a pair of pants. On the left is the one I currently wear; on the right is the one I wore a year ago. Look closely, one is almost twice as big as the other. Sometimes I scare myself in the morning when I look in the mirror. For a split second there it seems like there is some one different staring at me, only it's actually me (a much smaller version of me at any rate).

So, to sum it up...

It is difficult; it requires a lot of will power; there are days when you will feel like you're not achieving much, BUT it can be done, and if I can do it, so can you.

Weigh In

2010-08-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 137 pounds

The Final Ten

2010-07-23T10:37:00.001-07:00

I know I've been a slack bastard when it comes to updating this blog. However, I'm still diligent with the weight loss and things are continuing as planned. The last ten pounds are one hell of a bitch, and I've been trying to knock those off for the past two months. Just as I was about ready to give up all hope, those past two weeks I lost 5 pounds. SO, five down, five more to go, baby.

Total lost over the past few months: 7 pounds

Total weight loss: 135 pounds

Weigh In

2010-04-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 128 pounds

Weigh In

2010-04-22T05:02:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I updated, but I'm still on target. My weight loss has slowed down a bit. For the past month I've been the same, but last week it started again. My body just needed some time to adjust to the new way of things. I am still eating healthy and being active, so the weight loss although slow at this point, is still going. I am very close to my target weight though. I am told the closer I get to it, the slower the weight loss. I have 14 more pounds to lose before I call it quits. I'm a size Small now, but I'd like to be a size Xtra Small if I can, and that's the direction I'm headed.

Total lost this week: 4 pounds

Total weight loss: 126 pounds

Weigh-In

2010-03-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 122 pounds

Weigh In

2010-03-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 121 pounds

Weigh In

2010-03-04T12:12:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 118.5 pounds

Constant Variables

2010-02-25T06:37:00.000-08:00

The pros and cons of losing weight vary from one person to another, but there are some variables that remain constant. Below are some of the things I found interesting:

- The only person who truly cares about your weight loss is you, because you are the harshest when it comes to judging yourself

- It takes an enormous amount of will, motivation, and discipline to lose over 100 pounds; that teaches you how to overcome some of your shortcomings, deal with your weaknesses, or even incorporate them into something productive

- Fear of failure is infinitely more powerful than the desire for success

- The guilt that comes with eating unhealthy foods will most likely stay with you for life, even after you reach your goal weight

- People fall into 3 groups; those who are truly happy for you, those who are jealous of your success, and those that want nothing to do with you after you lose weight

- The possibility that some family and friends will cut off communication with you to the bare minimum because you remind them of what they could not achieve or their failure to lose weight

- The identifying glance between fat people will become confusing to some because you look at them with a familiarity yet they see the slim you and don't understand why you are so friendly; they are used to being treated with disdain

- Eating a rich meal/dessert will taste good going down but will feel like shit within half an hour (making you swear off treats altogether)

- Before you lost weight you couldn't jog because you were too heavy and your joints would scream at you every time you tried; now that your weight is not an issue you still cannot jog because you have exercise induced asthma and you're supposed to walk instead of run... you just can't win

- It is possible to fit into a size Small after fitting into a size 4X for half your life

- How inspiring your success could be to those who also wish to lose weight even if it's jealousy or contempt that motivates them

- It takes a wonderful husband to constantly remind you of your success even if it's in the subtle statements he makes

- There will always be people who refuse to attribute success to all your hard work and instead are more comfortable believing that you are sick or have some disease that is causing you to lose weight

- You will end up wasting a lot of clothes, and there will be days when you won't want to go out because you literally have nothing to wear that does not fall off your waist (that includes underwear)

- Second hand clothing stores are possibly the best idea EVER

- Even your feet will lose weight and you will end up with footwear that might have been extremely uncomfortable in the past but is now part of your essential wardrobe

- Make no mistake, your bra size will change too, though that may not include the cup size which makes it infinitely more complicated to find a style that properly fits

- Being able to wake up in the morning without heartburn or lead-belly is a feeling that can't be beat, not even for chocolate lava cake

- You will go from absolutely dreading it to looking for opportunities to exercise (including the 20 minute walk in minus 1000 degree wind chill with a lame excuse like grabbing the mail)

- That you can still appreciate fat jokes (and ones about skinny people too)

Weigh In

2010-02-18T08:01:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 1.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 116.5 pounds

Dietitian

2010-02-15T17:19:00.000-08:00

A quick update on the last post. Someone at the dietitian's office followed up with me via email, and I even got a call from my dietitian herself. They really want to make sure that I am comfortable and happy. Talk about customer service. I remain with the program, and I still trust my dietitian.

Now on to the other matter. I've been told that perhaps I'm giving too much credit to my dietitian and not enough to myself for managing my weight loss. I have to stress that I don't think I could have lost that much weight without her help. A dietitian is someone who helps me create a balanced meal plan that is suitable for my body. He/she also helps me maintain my weight loss by motivating and encouraging me when I don't believe I can do it, or also keeping me from jumping off a cliff on those days when I'm adamant that it was the cupcake I had for my daughter's birthday that prevented me from losing an extra pound this week. Frequent weigh-ins with my dietitian keep me accountable to myself; to know that the weight loss is attributed to an effort I put in as opposed to sheer luck, and the weeks I gain weight are not necessarily a result of something I did. The visits help me stay focused on the positives. As a fat person I already give myself grief about my weight; I don't need a dietitian to do that for me. Similarly, I don't need someone to tell me that if I don't lose weight I could die from heart disease. That's the doctor's job (which he does very well).

I believe a good dietitian is a food therapist if you will. They're not interested in judging you or the choices you make, rather in helping you make better choices that will ultimately bring you closer to your desired goal. That includes, but is not limited to, giving you the freedom to eliminate foods you don't like, and eating the foods you do like, within reason, if those foods are not part of a healthy meal plan. Typical by-the-book nutritionists are a lot like banks in that they put everyone in a series of buckets. You fit in either bucket A, B or C; high risk, medium risk, or low risk investment. If you want something more tailored to suit your needs, then you may want to invest with an actual funds company that specializes in nothing but investments as opposed to a bank who offers homogenized investment opportunities. A by-the-book nutritionist labels and puts you in one of those buckets because it's easier for them to do that than to customize a bucket just for you. A good nutritionist is one who puts the effort into knowing you and your life style, and customizes an individual plan that will work for you. The difference between the two is subtle, but it's apparent in the little things they do and speaks volumes about their perception of fat people.

I have yet to see a fat dietitian. Most of the ones I know are skinny or average at most. So naturally, they lack the "fat perspective". Don't get me wrong, they know all about fat and what it does, but they have no clue of what it's like to go through life being fat. Fat people know they are fat; they are not in denial about it. There's a portion of the population who think fat people deliberately overeat, and don't care how they look. That may be true for some but not all of us. I have yet to meet a fat person that has not tried to lose weight in some way. Why do you think weight loss scams are so successful; it's because fat people know they are not accepted. They want to fit in and in doing so they try methods that may or may not be successful. Some of us like to eat just as there are some people who like to drink, gamble, or what have you. The difference is that humans have been trained to see beauty in skinny people, whereas a fat person resembles whatever they find repulsive.

Typical dietitians (or skinny ones) have not gone through life with the nickname porky, pudgy, or fatso. They were not teased about their weight on the playground and were not ridiculed by classmates in gym class - not for their weight. As adults they don't get the brush off at high end clothing stores, and unfriendly smirks in sporting goods stores. Indeed, I have lost over 115 pounds in the last year; I've gone down from a size 4X to a size Medium, but I'm still fat on the inside. I identify very much with fat people and I still see skinny people as outsiders. I think like a fat person. I still go into stores and subconciously end up at the plus size section even though nothing fits me there anymore. I still like the styles targeted towards fat people. It's nauseating when I walk into the high end clothing stores nowadays, to see the very same clerks who brushed me off 6 months ago swarming all around me to sell me something that not's even full price but rather a clearance item, so it's not a commission related thing. That is what I find repulsive. The fact that I couldn't get a clerk to even notice me when I walked into the store 6 months ago, or the ones that look me up and down and then say they'll be right there, and the striking difference in their treatment when I walked into the same store last week and saw the same clerk who greeted me with a big smile and even complimented me on my choice of outfit; it's astounding. That's the treatment I was accustomed to for the last 20 years of my life. As a result, I tend to pick up on those little involuntary yet derogatory gestures. I get it at most places, and sometimes I even expect it, but not at the dietitian's office. It's my safe haven; it's the place where I can safely admit that I am fat, that I don't like being fat, and that I want to change it. It's the last place I would expect to feel judged. If you feel judged at the dietitian's office, then someone let you down. If your dietitian judges you then they have failed you and themselves.

My relationship with dietitians and nutritionists in the past has been rocky. I've been told what foods I should eat and which ones I should not eat, should being the keyword. A good nutritionist does not should all over you, rather suggests that you avoid certain foods, not all the time, but most of the time. I've seen moderate dietitians, and some really horrible ones. I can't recall the number of times for example, that I've been told I have to eat cottage cheese for breakfast, despite alerting the dietitian to the fact that I would rather eat a bullet then put cottage cheese in my mouth. When a dietitian lumps you into one of the usual categories for fat people, they are inadvertently telling you that they don't really care about your health or the effort you are making to maintain a healthy lifestyle, because by limiting your options they ensure that you will not be able to maintain healthy eating habits. It's unrealistic to expect someone to eat a food they hate everyday. A good dietitian knows that. By the same token, it's unrealistic to expect someone to give up a favourite food forever. Telling some one who eats a cupcake everyday that they cannot have them anymore is ridiculous, and guarantees that this person will never be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. A black and white approach to food is not conducive to any kind of change let alone a positive one. A good nutritionist is flexible and understands the value of compromise. Instead of having a cupcake once everyday, we can start by limiting cupcakes to 2 times a week and take it from there. The goal of both you and your dietitian is to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle without adding stress. It's those little things that to anyone else come accross as insignificant but what it tells you is that the dietitian actually cares about helping you achieve your goal and is not simply labeling you to fit into some preset notion of what others think you should be.

I guess in a nutshell I would say that the difference between a dietitian and a good dietitian, is that the former treats you like a patient, whereas the latter treats you like a customer.

Healthy Habits & Guidance

2010-02-12T06:04:00.000-08:00

Before I go on about today's rant, I would like to respond to anonymous who asked about my diet plan. I do not follow any special "diet". I think all diets are fads, and fail eventually. What I've done is essentially a lifestyle change. I incorporated a healthy meal plan along with exercise, and the additional guidance of a nutritionist. Basically, I limit sugar, fat and sodium intake, increase my exercise to 4 or 5 times a week, and my nutritionist helps me do that. This is not something I am doing just to lose the weight, but rather a style that will remain with me for the rest of my life. I will be discussing the exact details of my experience in a separate post as soon as I reach my goal weight which is not far off. I have 20 more pounds to go!

Now, on to my rant...

There is a reason why weight loss programs don't work the same for everyone. Successful weight loss programs often incorporate proper diet and exercise and more importantly guidance and accountability. I believe that a good nutritionist is essential to successful weight loss. Not any nutritionist mind you; it has to be someone you like and get along with. If you do not like your nutritionist, you will resent the appointments and the weigh ins, and his/her advice will fall on deaf ears. I like my nutritionist; I trust her advice, and I appreciate her help very much. Open communication and a certain social chemistry is necessary to achieve your goal weight and more importantly, to feel healthy and happy. This week I was confronted with this reality. My nutritionist was out sick with a cold, so to keep the schedule running smoothly, her office typically gets another nutritionist to fill in while she's gone. This was the third time I saw someone other than her. The other times she was away, I saw a really nice lady who was equally professional. Unfortunately, this week, I saw a different person who was not too nice. Where do I start?

The first thing I noticed and which caught me off guard was how rude she was. She cut me off mid sentence, several times. It seemed she was not interested in how I was really doing or what I had to say. She just wanted to hear herself speak.

She also provided unsolicited advice. She suggested (and I'm using this word liberally here) that I change some aspects of my diet because she does not think it will work. For example, she rhetorically asked "Can you eat some other fruit, because bananas have too much natural sugars in them and I typically don't recommend them to my patients any more than 3 times a week". She made two mistakes; a) she assumed I'm a typical patient which implied that she did not even look in my file to learn that in less than a year I have lost over 100 pounds, all the while eating bananas more than 3 times a week and b) she provided advice that indirectly undermined the expertise of my original nutritionist; very unprofessional. She insisted she was right even though I mentioned that my nutritionist never brought this up as it was never an issue and I have been losing weight steadily despite eating bananas more than 3 times a week sometimes.

I was offended by her condescending attitude. She complained about my meal plan and what she perceived as a lack of variety. Instead of asking me if I am okay with the recipes or foods that I am eating she arrogantly asked if I see myself following this meal plan for the rest of my life because she was concerned about the "lack of variety". When I confirmed yes, she insisted that "some people just do this until they lose weight and then they go back to eating unhealthy" implying that I'm one going to be one of those people. I had to bite my tongue and politely explain to her that I do all my meals in advance and that as long as I like something, I don't have a problem eating it several times a week. I also explained that due to family history and other health issues, I am well aware of lifestyle changes and that I have no intention of going back to unhealthy habits. I did not think I had to explain myself to her and I felt like it was more of an interrogation as opposed to a discussion. I was offended.

She was unprofessional at best. She hadn't read my file and was not interested until I told her that I lost over 100 pounds. She was surprised and congratulated me but did not seem very genuine. This was confirmed later as I left the office. On my way out, I spoke to the receptionist. I advised her that my husband is interested in registering with my nutritionist because he is impressed by how much weight I lost and he's looking to lose some too. I explained that he wants to see the same person I see. At that point, the nutritionist interjected and stated with an exasperated tone that he can see her and that she's "had patients who lost over 100 pounds too". Clearly, she was interested in neither me nor my husband, but rather in her own image and how she appeared around the office. It was fairly obvious to me that she was resentful of my original nutritionist. I don't really care about all that; it's office politics. However, it should not be apparent to the customer. It reflects badly on the entire organization.

In short, that nutritionist had nothing good to say, complained about my eating habits and in general made a bad impression. I felt that she spoke down to me. I left the appointment feeling negative and completely unmotivated. If she was my nutritionist I would not have lost all the weight I did. I shudder to think of how she makes others who have not had as much success as I've had feel. If I were part of upper management, I would make sure she goes nowhere near people. She is best served in a back office somewhere doing redundant paperwork. That's about all her brain can handle.

Though on the upside, it takes skill to be this ineffective at your job, and she's got it.

Weigh In

2010-02-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 3 pounds

Total weight loss: 115 pounds

Weigh In

2010-01-28T13:16:00.001-08:00

Total lost this week: 4 pounds

Total weight loss: 112 pounds

Weigh In

2010-01-21T13:15:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 108 pounds

Weigh In

2010-01-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 0 pounds (gained 1 pound)

Total weight loss: 107 pounds

Weigh In

2010-01-07T05:09:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 108 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-12-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 4.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 105.5 pounds

Note: NOPE!! Obviously not the plateau. I'm still going. I did indulge a little in the Christmas feast. I had turkey, and a little stuffing. I steered clear of dessert though. Maybe some other time.

Weigh-In

2009-12-22T12:10:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 0 pounds

Total weight loss: 101 pounds

Note: My food hasn't changed, nor has my exercise level yet I did not lose anything this week at all. Could my body be slowing down?? Is this the plateau everyone was talking about?

I have gone past the 100 pound mark!!

2009-12-17T12:11:00.001-08:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 101 pounds

Weigh In

2009-12-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 0.5 pound

Total weight loss: 99 pounds

Weigh In

2009-12-03T14:45:00.001-08:00

Total lost this week: 3 pounds

Total weight loss: 98.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-11-26T14:42:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 95.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-11-19T16:38:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 1 pounds

Total weight loss: 94.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-11-12T15:09:00.001-08:00

Total lost this week: 1.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 93.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-11-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 92 pounds

Weigh In

2009-10-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 0.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 90 pounds

Weigh In

2009-10-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 89.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-10-15T19:26:00.001-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 87.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-10-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 84 pounds

Weigh In

2009-10-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 83 pounds

Weigh In

2009-09-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 82 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-09-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 81 pounds

Things have not gone back to normal yet. There is a severe lack of exercise in this household. Despite that, I lost weight, most likely due to the fact that I have been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, what with all the various things I am trying to do to keep my schedule from imploding.

Weigh-In

2009-09-10T03:44:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 77.5 pounds

Note: Have been losing weight despite the lack of exercise. I have not done my usual level of exercise on the treadmill for the past two weeks. But stress I think can be a contributing factor to weight loss, though an unhealthy one I think. Crossing my fingers that things go back to normal soon.

Weigh-In

2009-09-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 75 pounds

2009-08-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 73 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-08-20T12:00:00.001-07:00

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 71.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-08-13T05:13:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 4 pounds

Total weight loss: 69 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-08-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 65 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-07-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 61.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-07-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 59.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-07-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 0.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 57.5 pounds

Note: Just like the nutritionist expected. I lost only half a pound this week because last week was a whopping 4.5 pounds loss. Actually, she had predicted that I would stay the same, but I'll take the half pound. It seems that I am back on track and over the damn flu. Hence, my body should be back to normal and the numbers should level out again.

Weigh-In

2009-07-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 4.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 57 pounds

Note: I am down with the stomach flu this week. I suspect the reason I lost that much in just seven days is because the toilet and I are on a first name basis currently. Needless to say, 4.5 pounds in one week is not healthy, as evident by the fact that the look of glee on my face was quickly met with a not-so-impressed look from the nutritionist.

Weigh-In

2009-06-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 52.5 pounds

The Big Weigh-In

2009-06-19T11:53:00.001-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 50.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-06-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 47 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-06-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 43.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-05-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 42.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-05-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 41 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-05-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 3 pounds

Total weight loss: 37.5 pounds

Weigh-In

2009-05-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 34.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-04-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

Total lost this week: 2 pounds

Total weight loss: 33.5 pounds

Weigh In

2009-04-23T11:20:00.001-07:00

Total lost this week: 1.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 31.5 pounds

Reboot

2009-04-21T04:22:00.001-07:00

Alright.. I know I've been a slack bastard when it comes to this blog, but I have made some progress. Let me debrief you.

I had to abandon the system I was using, because it wasn't working. When I complained to my physician (which I adore by the way and don't know what I'd do after he's retired) he suggested I see a dietitian to determine why I'm not achieving the goals I set out for myself. So I did. The result? Very simple; my metabolism was in hibernation mode. No matter how much exercise I did, and how little food I ate, my body was in starvation mode and refused to let go of the fat it has accumulated because it believed that I will continue to starve it. So we went about fixing the problem and we have finally succeeded.

I started investigating all this shortly after new years. By February I started to see some consistent weight loss, but it was small, a pound here, a pound there. However, last month my body went into high gear and I am now losing weight consistently and at a faster pace. So to recap what the dietitian has done for me:

- forced me to eat more.. I am now eating 6 small meals a day with no more than 3 hours between each meal (that's what keeps the metabolism running high)
- weekly visits for weigh in
- encouraged me to keep a food diary to keep track of my progress
- limited exercise to 25 minutes twice a week as opposed to one hour every day
- forced me to drink more water, at least 2 liters a day

Here is a perfect example of less is more. It sounds untrue, but I swear to you, her system worked, whereas my system has failed. There is one catch though: you have to be totally committed to lose weight in order for it to work. Skip meals or skip exercise, and it unravels at the seams. I'm glad I figured out what's wrong, and I am glad that it's finally working for me. So without further ado...

Total lost this week: 2.5 pounds

Total weight loss: 30 pounds

Yes, you read that right, 30 pounds.

I will no longer be posting everyday (unless people request it), but I need feedback as to what you guys and gals would like to see here. I will continue to post weekly weigh-ins, and questions are welcome of course, either in the comment section or by email. Either way, let me know what you would like to see here.

Day 15

2008-09-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- 2 whole wheat bread slices
- one inch block cheese
- half cup cereal plus half cup milk
- coffee

Lunch
- low fat, low carb Chicken Parmesan (Blue Menu line, I love it)
- 2 cups garden salad
- low fat low sugar scoop ice cream

Supper
- one cup cereal plus one cup milk

Exercise
- two episodes of Sex and the City on the treadmill

Yes, the scale is still opting for an insanity plea...

Day 14 - WEIGH IN

2008-09-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

There will be no weigh in today. I believe my scale is not functioning properly. It's recording the same weight I started with.

Conclusion 1: I gained the weight that I lost last week.

Conclusion 2: My scale is suffering from Alzheimers.

Conclusion 3: I lost fat, and gained muscle instead.

Judging by the fact that my pants are definitely a size down, I will have to say that most likely I did gain weight (at this point I am not sure how much as my scale is being hormonal) except that it is muscle weight. Muscle weighs almost three times as much as fat, but does not take up the space. Therefore, I may have to start measuring my waist, chest, etc. That is the only explanation I have for why my clothes are looser yet my weight is the same.

Unless of course a selection of my pants decided to magically expand inside of two weeks...

Will have this issue resolved by end of this week, which may involve serving an eviction notice to my current scale.

Day 13

2008-09-07T05:16:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- one slice apple pie (low sugar, low fat)
- coffee

Lunch
- roasted chicken sub with vegetables
- splenda pop

Snack
-one banana

Supper
- one cup cereal plus one cup milk

No exercise on Sunday. It's a break. I also went for a big grocery trip today.

Day 12

2008-09-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee

Lunch
- potato salad
- one cup unsweetened fruit juice
- one slice apple pie (low sugar, low fat)

Supper
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- half cup cereal plus half cup milk

Exercise
- treadmill 35 minutes while hubby sat on the couch across the room and proceeded to communicate with me while I sweat heavily

I started late today. Everything was late and I was just having a not so great day. I could only exercise for 35 minutes as I had to whip up something to eat for all three of us. The last time hubby attempted to feed us we almost got food poisoning, not to mention his cooking would constitute child abuse.

Day 11

2008-09-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee

Lunch
I forgot lunch today...

Supper
- roasted potatoes and clove chicken
- one cup vegetable soup
- one cup unsweetened fruit juice

Exercise
- treadmill 50 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

I need to hire a lunch police...

Day 10

2008-09-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- one scrambled egg
- coffee
- half cup cereal plus milk

Lunch
- coffee

Supper
- roasted chicken sub with fresh vegetables
- one splenda pop
- two scoops fat free ice cream

Exercise
- treadmill 50 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

Note to self: resist the temptation to do "work stuff" at 1 in the morning...

Day 9

2008-09-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee
- one scrambled egg
- half cup cereal plus milk

Lunch
- handful of grapes

Supper
- 1 cup roasted potato and roasted clove chicken (one of my favorite dishes)
- one big bowl of garden salad (low fat salad dressing)
- one splenda pop

Exercise
- treadmill 50 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

I've had to increase my breakfast because I'm notorious for skipping lunch, especially when work is frantic.

Day 8

2008-09-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee
- one scrambled egg

Lunch
- handful of grapes

Supper
- 2 cups pasta plus roasted chicken tenders

Snack
- one scoop fat free ice cream

Exercise
- treadmill 45 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

OK, I can't always make 50 minutes, but at least I'm doing 45 every day. It's been suggested that I'm over working myself. I haven't thought about it... yet.

Day 7 - WEIGH IN

2008-09-01T08:59:00.001-07:00

Total lost this week: 3 pounds

Total weight loss: 3 pounds

Day 6

2008-08-31T05:10:00.000-07:00

There is a thunderstorm today, with lots of thunder, lightening, rain and damaging winds. Power has been fluctuating. That puts a dent in my schedule. I guess that means no cooking and no exercise, since all my appliances are electric. I survived on bread, cheese, and cereal.

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee

Lunch
- two rice cakes

Supper
- cereal plus milk

The storm is still going...

Day 5

2008-08-30T05:09:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee

Lunch
- handful of grapes

Supper
- big bowl of vegetable salad with oil/vinegar dressing plus a handful of croutons
- 2 cups pasta plus chicken tenders

Snack
- one scoop fat free ice cream

Exercise
- treadmill 50 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

I finally made 50 minutes!

I'm currently debating whether I should take a day off. Perhaps Sunday should be my lazy day...

Day 4

2008-08-29T15:53:00.001-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one teaspoon peanut butter plus one teaspoon jam
- coffee

Lunch
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block of cheese

Supper
- big bowl of vegetable salad with oil/vinegar dressing plus a handful of croutons
- diet soda

Exercise
- treadmill 45 minutes while watching 2 episodes of Sex and the City

I tried to do 50 minutes of exercise today but at 45 I felt extremely tired. So looks like it's going to remain 45 minutes for a while.

I think salad is great.

Day 3

2008-08-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Meals:

Breakfast
- two slices wholewheat bread
- one inch block cheese
- coffee

Lunch
- grilled chicken sub with vegetables (no condiments)
- one scoop fat free chocolate fudge brownie ice cream

Snack
- handful of raisins (about the size of a golf ball)
- half a can of diet soda (my little girl spilled the other half all over the desk)

Supper
- one cup cereal plus one cup milk

Exercise
- treadmill 45 minutes while watching In Plain Sight

I've increased my exercise by 5 minutes and also increased the pace of the treadmill. I tried to go for 50 but after 45 minutes I started to feel a bit of strain on my legs so I stopped. I don't want to push myself too hard otherwise I end up hating exercise. And if that happens then I will stop exercising. So 45 minutes will have to do for now. Perhaps tomorrow I may be able to add a few more minutes. I also increased my fluid intake. I'm aiming for at least one litre per day. Drinking lots of water encourages weight loss.

Day 2

2008-08-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

The above picture is of the ice cream I had for dessert today. Notice the fat content is 0.5 grams for every scoop/half cup. The sugar content is 16 grams per scoop. When counting carbohydrates in terms of units the formula goes like this (if I remember correctly):

15 grams of sugar (about 1 tablespoon) is equal to 15 grams of carbohydrates/one unit of carbs

5 grams of fat (about 1 teaspoon) is equal to 15 grams of carbohydrates/one unit of carbs

So in total I had two scoops of that heavenly ice cream which is equal to one cup. According to the label one cup of that (remember 125 ml is only half cup so if you are having one cup double your numbers) contains 1 gram of fat plus 32 grams of sugar. So in total that cup of ice cream contains approximately 2 units of carbs, with the fat being negligible at best. And when you think of a dessert, that is the number you should be aiming for.

Meals:

Breakfast
- one cup cereal plus one cup low fat milk
- coffee

Afternoon
- treadmill 40 minutes

Supper
- grilled chicken sub with vegetables (no condiments)
- two scoops fat free chocolate fudge brownie ice cream (yes, it tastes as good as it sounds)

If there's one thing I despise it's condiments. The extent of my condiments is vinegar and oil salad dressing. I hate ranch, thousand islands, Caesar, and all that other crap, mainly because mayonnaise and mustard conjure up images of projectile vomiting. I can handle ketchup in tomato sauce, in tiny amounts, but I'm certainly not a ketchup and french fries person. So I often take my subs plain and replace condiments with fresh vegetables like tomatoes and green peppers, etc.

As you can see, I forgot to eat lunch. Yes, I'm flawed. But I was very proud of myself after my workout. I increased it to 40 minutes instead of 25, without feeling like my lungs are about to explode I might add. If you're exercising and you feel like your lungs are ready to collapse and you feel dizzy, then you are pushing yourself too hard and you have to stop or slow down. But I felt good with 40 minutes, and once again the adrenaline rush is sweet at the end. With that tingly feeling and the sense of euphoria it's almost like a drug high. OK, perhaps I'm getting addicted to endorphins.

I just wanted to mention something about fat free ice cream. At the grocery store, you have to look closely and compare all ice creams. Read the labels. Very often when something is fat free it contains a high caloric intake because the sugar replaces the fat in the product. I have seen fat free frozen yogurts that have three times as much sugar as regular ice cream. There have been times when I opted for full fat ice cream versus the non fat because it has lower sugar. Nowadays, however, options are more varied and companies are starting to realize that people are aware of obesity and the risks. So, now there are fat free ice creams that are also low in sugar, because today it is common knowledge that fat and sugar are interchangeable. Fat gets broken down in the body as sugar anyway, so what makes you fat is not just fat, it's sugar as well. That was a breakthrough for Diabetics. Ten years ago people with Diabetes avoided sugar but did not pay attention to fat. It has been proven now that fat is broken down/transformed into sugar and in turn affects blood sugar levels dramatically. That makes a big difference for diabetics. So when you buy ice cream, make sure that it has a low fat and low sugar intake.

I love ice cream and I consume it in great quantities in the summer. But most fat free ice creams taste like plastic. There are very good quality fat free ice creams but they are expensive. The way I see it, I'd rather spend the extra dollars and get good flavor especially when I will only be eating one or two scoops a day. There is no point in buying something cheap that tastes like shit. Also, because you are only eating so little of it, the container should last for about 2 weeks. You can always stock up when it's on sale. Alternatively, you can replace it with fruit. I find fruit is just as expensive in Canada. Anyhow, you want to do what works for you.

I was talking to someone today who told me she and her sister-in-law went to Weight Watchers to lose weight. She lost all the weight she gained during pregnancy and her sister-in-law had started with Weight Watchers five years ago at 350 pounds. Today her sister-in-law is 180 pounds. I know quite a few people who lost weight on that program. Weight Watchers is very expensive though. But she got me thinking, is it really worth it?

Did anyone try that program or know of anyone who did? What do you guys think of it?

Day 1

2008-08-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

Today, I started my weight loss process by going back to a healthy lifestyle through proper nutrition and exercise. No doubt it's going to be lengthy and downright difficult. I have to break some of the bad habits I picked up while I was pregnant, such as lack of exercise. I've already been replacing sugar with Splenda for the past few years now and I don't take my coffee with cream. Instead I use coffee whitener if need be. It has much less fat than cream. I drink low fat milk and if I have the hunkering for juice or soda pop I pick up the variety with Splenda instead of sugar.

I started my exercise routine on the treadmill by doing brisk walking for 25 minutes instead of the usual 10. By the end of the week I should easily be doing 50 minutes to an hour. This program (I prefer to call it lifestyle because it's not really a diet) has worked for me in the past. And it also worked for my husband. He lost 50 pounds in less than a year. So I know it works. But there are certain things that have to be followed in order for it to work. There are a few basics.

Figure out when you wind down and stop eating 4 hours before. If you go to bed at 10 then make sure your supper is at 6. But if you go to bed at 12 you can eat your last meal at 8 but only if you keep moving after that. If you end up eating as late as 8 and then you actually sit at your computer till 12 then you defeat the purpose of exercise. Otherwise eat late but move afterward.

If you are going to have a big meal or something rich, make it for breakfast. Breakfast is the ideal meal for that stuff because it is the first meal of the day and your body moves throughout the day so you get to burn it off efficiently, versus having something rich at night right before you go to bed. Breakfast is a must. Do not bother eating healthy or exercising if you are not planning on eating breakfast. It defeats the purpose. Your body needs breakfast within two hours of waking. Any later than that and it will enter into starvation mode and store everything else you eat after that and you will not burn off anything. You must force yourself to eat even a small breakfast. Your metabolism has to function properly in order for your body to lose weight. By not eating breakfast you are screwing up your metabolism. Ideally, I like my breakfast quite big, my lunch medium, and my supper to be light. I sleep better on a lighter stomach.

Drink lots of water, and have snacks. The feeling of starvation is horrible and when your mind thinks it's starving it starts to crave fat and sugar. It's a biological self preservation technique. If you get hungry in between meals and snacks, eat salad, or any low fat staple food until you get accustomed to your lifestyle. And keep busy. When you are distracted or paying attention to something else you don't have time to think about food. But don't let that distract you from eating lunch and supper. I'm notorious for skipping lunch when I'm working because I literally forget to eat. I have to work on that.

Eat a small dessert everyday. You really should, if only for the purpose of keeping your self esteem in check. This lifestyle is all about portion control. One half cup of ice cream will not hurt. My husband and I used to eat one cup of ice cream per day and we still lost weight. You will never crave sweets if your mind doesn't believe you are missing it. Addiction to sugar has a ring of truth to it, and that will happen if you keep eating sugar all the time. However, half a cup of low fat ice cream after the meal will not hurt. The key to sweets is to have them with your meal or right after the meal. If you wait for one hour after your meal then you are actually doing more damage. Protein and fiber slows down the absorption of sugar in the blood dramatically.

Do not force yourself to eat things you hate. This is one of the reasons why diets don't work. If you hate spinach do not eat spinach. I hate skimmed milk, so I drink low fat milk instead. Really, one percent fat as opposed to zero fat will not make a difference. I also hate raw celery and I hate mushrooms on anything. I don't eat mushrooms and I only eat cooked celery in soups or on pizza. Find something you like that is low fat or healthy for you and use it as a staple or snack.

Minimize pastas and rice and control your potato portions. You really have to keep starches under control especially baked goods (those with flour). In cooking use olive oil instead of butter and limit the use of fat in general to one teaspoon per meal. When I crave pizza, for example, I buy the variety available at the frozen foods section in the grocery store. It has much less fat and grease than the one from the usual pizza joint. It's cheaper and also much smaller. I buy the individual sizes so I don't overeat. If you crave muffins or cake, a trick I learned, is to use unsweetened applesauce in baking instead of butter. If your recipe calls for butter, replace the first half with margarine and the other half with applesauce.

Exercise is key to this lifestyle. Not only does it help with weight loss but also it's healthy for you and the adrenaline rush after exercise is phenomenal (almost as good as sex). I use the treadmill but hubby prefers to walk outside. Both methods work, depending on what you like. My husband passes the time while he walks by listening to music. I prefer to walk on the treadmill while I watch an episode of Sex and the City or an episode of Weeds. It passes the time and distracts you from feeling like you are going to collapse.

My goal is to lose at least 2 pounds per week. I think that's half decent in the beginning. Losing less than that means I need more exercise NOT less food. It's important to note though that losing weight too fast is not healthy. You want to shed the pounds slowly but steadily until you reach your desired weight. For me that means going back into my old clothes, because my new clothes are ugly. They don't fit right at all. Suffice it to say that some body parts are overflowing. It's not a pretty sight.

Without further adieu, the plan for today...

Breakfast
- 2 slices of wholewheat bread with a 1 inch block of cheese, about the size and thickness of your thumb
- one cup cereal plus one cup of low fat milk

Afternoon
- treadmill for 30 minutes

Lunch
- thin crust pizza, from the frozen food section in the grocery store, has chicken pieces along with red peppers, onions, celery, and a bunch of other greens, and very little cheese.
- one scoop of ice cream, approximately half a cup or about the size of a tennis ball cut in half

Supper
- 2 slices of wholewheat bread with 1 teaspoon peanut butter and one teaspoon jam
- cereal plus one cup milk

As you can see, today I was so busy I forgot to eat snacks. And that is not good. I also need a trip to the grocery store. I am out of fruits and vegetables. Salad's are one of my favorite snack foods.

On the list for tomorrow: grocery trip.

The Beginning

2008-08-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

This blog is about documenting my journey towards weight loss. My goal is to lose 2 pounds per week through regular exercise and balanced meals without resorting to any diet plans. I set up this blog so that I can share my experiences and also to get motivation and encouragement from anyone who cares.

I gained a fair bit of weight in the last year, mainly due to pregnancy and hormone fluctuation. At this point, it looks like my waistline may require it's own postal code. I hope that through regular exercise and healthy food, along with this blog I can lose all the weight I've gained and maintain a healthy lifestyle.